


What is left?

by RaineStorm



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Finding first love, Going off lyruim again, OC mage - Freeform, hinted love making
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 15:43:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7177862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaineStorm/pseuds/RaineStorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What is left for Cullen? He is again on Lyrium because the Inquisitor told him to go back on it and now that they are Peacekeepers, Cullen is slowly loosing his mind to the Lyrium, but one day he gets a surprise while he is making his rounds. It is a mage from the Ferelden Circle. </p><p>(OCC; this is my first story on here.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

It had been years since she had seen Cullen and Raine couldn't give up the search yet. She had finally gotten a hint and soon told her children that she would be back. Rushing out to the stable, she saddled her fastest horse and took off towards where she thought her man would be. Galloping through the streets, she had finally caught sight of the man she loved; but it was her heart that told her it was him, not her eyes. "Cullen!" she called as she reined in her mount. Cullen Stanton Rutherford was not what she remembered him to be....no what she found was a man so broken that it broke her heart to see him that way. Slipping off her steed, Raine pulled him to her and once her arms and magic touched him it seemed like it awoke something within him. He seemed to remember her touch and soon he held her close to him. "Come back in an hour, I will be off by then." he whispered to her. Raine sighed to herself, he remembered her but only by touch. She had heard that he had gone off Lyrium but that he was forced to go back on it and once more was addicted to it. She knew what it would do to him...she had seen the end result of what could happen and would happen if she didn't act now.  
An hour later after much totured thoughts of how she could have stopped him or how she could have argued with whom had forced him back on the lyrium; a shadow fell over her and she looked up to meet the amber eyes that could steal her heart and soul away. Jumping up; she embraced Cullen whom had buried his face into her neck and shoulder. She could feel he was close to a break down and she would at least stop him there. Pulling him toward her steed which actually was his; she smiled at him and soon mounted, holding her hand out to him. He grasped it and pulled himself up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist to hold him on the horse. They traveled for some time before they reached the farm. Lacen and Chasen were out playing with the horses and when they saw their mom coming the two jumped on their horses and raced to meet her before she came to their house. "Mom! Look Dreamer isn't afraid to hold a rider!" Chasen called as he galloped up to them and Lacen was on Light whom was Enchantment's mare. "Mom is that...?" Raine nodded and smiled as she tapped her heels into her stallion's side. Enchantment danced as he cantered on to the barn. Once there, Cullen slid off and then helped his Raine off the horse; after all the years without him, it still felt the same as it always had. Raine smiled at her kids and told them, "Go play with the horses Lacen, Chasen, you keep up the good work with Dreamer. I will be in the house." The twins nodded and soon were arguing about how to work with Enchantment's first foal. As soon as she had pulled Cullen into the house and closed the door, she had him pinned there and her lips on his. She knew Cullen was surprised but soon relaxed in the kiss and held her tightly to him. The two hungerly kissed and held one another until they stumbled up the stairs to her room. Raine wasn't going to let this broken man believe he was alone anymore. Once in her room, Raine pushed Cullen over to the bed where he stumbled and fell onto it in shock and then his wildest dreams came true.  
It was about an hour or two later and Raine smiled as she started dinner for the kids and as Cullen sat at the table, she turned to watch him. It wasn't a weird sight to see her man, her lover sitting at her table because she had always dreamed of living with Cullen. She wanted to tell him her secret, the one she kept for so many years but about the time she was going to tell him, the twins came into the house. "Mom, so who is this man?" Chasen asked. "This is an old flame of mine; Cullen I would like you to meet my very protective son, Chasen or Chase." she said. "And this is my daughter Lacen or Lace."


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen's P.O.V

~*Cullen's P.O.V*~  
Ever since the Inqusistion tranfered to being a peacekeeper, Cullen had been upset with himself for letting himself be forced back onto Lyrium but one face stood out in his mind; one that he knew he should remember. As the day wore on he had been getting more and more tired with each passing day but on this day every memory he had of the one he should remember came back as a girl on horseback came galloping towards him. "Cullen!" The girl had slipped off her steed and pulled him to her; it was her magic and touch that woke him up enough for him to remember her. Her touch was what his body reacted to and he soon told her to come back within an hour and he would be off work. As his remaining hour drew out; all he could think about was that part of him that was in the Fereldan Circle and how he had loved her touch and craved it even. Maybe he could still save himself from what had come to be with him. He wasn't the Cullen she had known long ago, he was a broken man trying to get through life or what little life he had left. After he was done with his shift; Cullen went to find his love and soon his shadow fell over his her. Once she had realized he was there, she had jumped up and embraced him tightly to her and of course he couldn't hold himself back, he buried his face into the hollow of her shoulder where it met her neck. He had been so close to a break down; of disappearing from everything and everyone and he knew he would loose what little of himself he had left. After she finally got him to let go of her, she pulled him over to the golden stallion she had galloped in on and she soon sat in the saddle with her hand extended to him. A fire started to blaze within him as he looked up at her and took her hand to help him up onto the horse's back. Cullen knew nothing of where they were going, only that where ever they were going would be somewhere they would have time for them. As they neared a farm, he could see two kids playing with horses and soon where galloping towards them. Cullen's heart had dropped as low as his spirit did. She was married...  
Once they reached the farm however everything changed, she had pulled him into the house and pinned him against the door kissing him and soon they were up stairs and he was looking up at her from the bed. So she wasn't married or this was just a one time thing. She made love to him and cuddled for an hour before she got up to go made dinner. Cullen followed her and was soon introduced to her children, even now there was no sign of her husband and this made him wonder what happened. "Mom, I want to learn how to use a sword. Magic isn't alway going to save me and I need to protect Lace." Cullen looked over to the kids and sighed; so they took after their mother. That bothered him a little but he wasn't sure why. "If it is alright with your mom, I will teach you." Cullen said. Maybe until he found out who was their dad that he could....play as their dad, he had a few days off. "I will stay if it is okay with mom and teach you...teach you both if you want." he said as he smiled gently at them both.   
As the night went on, Cullen had stepped outside and watched the kids put the horses away for the night. He was so distracted that it startled him when Raine had come up behind him and placed her arms around him. With each touch, he could feel his strength returning and his mind as well. Laying a hand on hers, Cullen sighed happily, even if it was just for a little bit, it would still be enough for him at the moment. "Where is he?" Cullen asked her. He dreaded what she may say but when he heard what she had to say, his heart lifted. "He doesn't know about them yet and for now I like it this way because I can figure out what to say when the time comes." Cullen looked behind him to her and touched her cheek. "Whoever left you lost something special." he told her as he turned to her. "He didn't have a choice and he didn't know I was pregnant. Between the two of us I knew that there was a high chance of them being mages." she had replied. "I wonder if things would have been different if I had told him but then..." she trailed off and Cullen picked it up. "Then I wouldn't have this chance to regain myself." He had lifted her chin and moved to kiss her until Chase had come up the stairs. Cullen lowered his head as Raine laughed. "Get onto bed." she said as she tapped him on the back. "Lace come on." she then called to her daughter.  
Raine had followed her children into the house and Cullen leaned against the door frame of each of the kids' rooms and watched her tuck them in. Each time she had taken his hand but this last time she pulled him outside. "Remember looking at the stars every night with me?" she asked as she gazed up. Cullen tried but the lyrium had taken a toll on him. "No..." he whispered so softly. Raine had went over to him to touch him but he pulled away from her and walked away.


	3. 3

~*Raine's P.O.V*~  
When Cullen walked away from her, she stood back and watched him. She could tell the toll of Lyrium was taking him fast but if she had her way then he would get to live with her and their children. Yes Cullen Rutherford was their father and all she had told of him to them, she painted Cullen as a man that would not break but win. The man that stood in front of her right now was someone who was almost broken beyond repair but she would do her best to help him. She debated on telling him about the twins or not; she bit her lip as she thought and she had also turned her head away from her lover; the man that made her heart melt. She felt him lift her chin up and made her look at him. "I am a broken man, I have almost lost myself again before you came to me today, I can't give you up, not even if this man came and tried to claim you as his again. I wouldn't survive it." he said as he brushed her hair back. Raine sighed and bit her lip even more. Did she want to tell him now? Or wait until time went on? Everything was getting to be to much on her mind and watching him come so close to breaking down, broke her heart, yet she couldn't say a word just yet. He wasn't stable enough to handle the truth of everything yet. Watching him right now, there was some of him left but there wasn't enough and she hoped that she would find him to where he was that Cullen again. Looking up at the stars, she smiled and walked over to him, lacing her arms around his waist. "Look at the stars and remember all those nights that we stared at them, the night of my Harrowing and how happy you were to see me walk by you." she whispered to him. She could hear him sigh softly and lay his hands on her arms. I remember those nights but barely anymore." he whispered as he leaned his head back. "In a few days I must return to work but I grow tired and don't know how long I can go on." Raine became worried at that moment, but shook herself mentally.

When morning came, Raine sighed and rolled over to lay her head on lover's chest, but did not find him there beside her. Groaning, she got up and headed down the stairs to find a note saying he was gone. Raine sank to her knees in sadness and clutched the note to her heart.  



	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short.

*~Cullen's P.O.V~*  
It was the middle of the night when he awoke with his mind going non stop but there was still so much in his heart to give yet, thinking his love was married, he got up out of the bed as softly as he could and wrote a note once he was down the stairs, stating that he had to leave but that he loved her. It had taken everything for him to write the not, to leave even the house.

_"My dear Raine,_  
_I must leave now, but know that I felt more like the man_  
_I once was now than before. You mean more to me_  
_and so I don't want to cause you problems because it_  
_would kill me to hear something happened to you._  
_Always yours,_  
_Love, Cullen_  


It had been a few months after he had seen his beloved once more but the toll the lyrium had taken on him; he announced his retirement. Cullen sighed as he wondered around before he sat down and placed his head in his hand. He was tired, so tired anymore and his memory was fuzzy any more. Before he knew it, it was dark and he could hear hoof beats, then a voice said, "If I was there all those years ago, I would not have let you take that Lyrium; I would have stopped you and let you raise-" She had almost let it slip. "Let me raise what?" he asked her. "Let you raise us." a voice said from behind them. "Mom would have found you sooner and let you help raise us." Raine looked back to see Chasen sitting on Dreamer. She watched as it dawned on Cullen and he turned to look at her. "Daddy?" a soft voice called. "Will you stay with us? Will you love mommy and us? Even if we all are mages?" Lacen asked as she came to stand beside her brother. Raine sighed. "Yes Cullen, my sweet love, they are your's." she whispered. "After some time I had given up finding you, but today I heard a rumor and had to act on it and see if it was you. I wanted to make sure that you would be okay with them before I told you but I guess our son had more sense than I did." 

 


End file.
